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her next chapter

Tenacious. Terrific. Trustworthy. Truthful. And sometimes Trouble. When you ask my family, friends and coworkers about me, they will probably list these attributes. Or qualities. For good and for bad. I am the only child to my mother Grace and my father Ken who met in Blackpool, England during the Second World War, which means much of my family resides in England. Including my daughter who met my son-in-law during her junior year abroad at Oxford University. I grew up not knowing that my mother had an accent, never understanding the difference between English and American terminology so that even today I will say a word and people will look perplexed, and I realize I am using the English word and not the American one. I’m an only child because my parents decided traveling back to England would be very difficult with more children. My father made a point to keep me from being spoiled which was a double-edged sword because his lack of praise left me with a feeling that I had to try twice as hard as anyone else just to keep up. The end result is one very motivated woman, and I constantly seek continued learning and new challenges. My first words were undoubtedly “When are you going to give me a horse?” and thus Patience Prize and I became a team when I was 14. My father once again made sure I knew the horse was not to be taken for granted when he said, “Now you’ve got a horse, you’d better get a job. And you won’t be paid for mowing the lawn anymore.” My love of animals produced my first job at the local veterinarians cleaning up cages and feeding animals. One small dog had broken her two front legs, was terribly vicious, and no one could touch her. After her surgery she was crammed up in a corner while still asleep, and I moved her into a more comfortable position and, of course, petted her and spoke to her. After that I was the only one who could open her cage and touch her without getting bitten. She must have known my smell. Years passed and I became both a photojournalist and regular journalist with local Berkshire County Massachusetts newspapers. When I returned to college to complete my bachelor’s degree, my journalism provided me with life experience credits and thus I completed my BA in English. What to do next? I had student loans, so I needed either grad school or a second job. My daughter waitressed at a local restaurant open only on weekends and they said they needed a dishwasher, so she said, “My brother needs a job.” Then they asked, “So who else do you have at home?” and she said, “My mom.” Thus, I tried the second job routine as a waitress. We served wine in long-stemmed glasses and carried them on a tray. During one shift I was at a table of two women and the tray started to tilt, and I couldn’t stop it! So, I stood there and watched the wine glasses crash down on the table and splash everywhere. It was not a happy time for all involved. So, I said, “That’s it, I’m going to grad school.” I took my daughter and son to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, we ate at the Russian Tea Room, and I told them they couldn’t bug me for two years. The non-traditional program at Vermont College of Norwich University was a full-time program so I had a full-time job, a full-time grad school program, a son in high school and a daughter in college. During my internship I worked 7:00 a.m. to noon, drove to Albany, New York (a one-hour drive one way), worked at a public relations firm from 1:00 to 6:00 and stopped at the restaurant where my two offspring worked about 7:00 for a glass of wine and a light dinner. Then I realized I didn’t have time to clean the bathroom, so I hired a cleaning lady (very inexpensive in a small town back then) and decided that was an expense associated with grad school. That was a valuable decision. The downside of a small town is that a master’s degree doesn’t allow for many jobs at a living wage. I decided I would move. After networking for several years and finding a church in Washington, DC I moved to northern Virginia on October 2, 1999, never having lived more than 6 miles from where I was born. I got a job the second day. I bought a house that January and a horse, Sonny Madison, in January 2001 and have never regretted my choice or looked back. At some point in 2018 I found Her Nexx Chapter and started writing for them. It provides me with a chance to get in touch with my creative style since my most prevalent job has been a technical writer. Now I’m also the Editorial Project Director and a member of the Advisory Board. It’s a tremendous value to women everywhere, and I always enjoying learning something new and sharing my blogs with the community. So here I am. I’m still horseback riding and trying to keep fit. I try to look for the positive side of life even in times of turmoil – notice I said “try” because sometimes life gets to be a tad difficult. But that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!